Comments - Latest Popular Stories, Instablogs Community by Brd

Mayuri Majumdar

Mayuri Majumdar — Thu, 22 May 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Well, I do not agree to the title. I have seen some relationships which have sprung from the internet and leaded to marriage. I guess we cannot assume something just on the basis of research and study. Even my best friend is my net friend. Its a different thing that he is no longer my ”net”friend.Its a matter of luck as well.

Anwesha

Anwesha — Fri, 23 May 2008 00:00:00 +0000

without generalizing, i guess we can say that making serious friendships over the net often involves a lot of risk. the very fact that it is the ’web’ should be enought o warn you that it might be a trap. people might come across as completely different personalities on the net than they actually are. some weirdos actually pretend to belong to fictitious age groups, community, even sex! worse, stories of fraudulence, kidnaps and other crimes have often been associated with online ’friendships’. however, at the same time, as Mayuri points out, the lucky ones have found good matches and friends over the net. thus, it’d probably suffice to say that one needs to be extra carefula nd remain on one’s guard while committing to online relationships.

Bijoy

Bijoy — Fri, 23 May 2008 00:00:00 +0000

I guess its something like a knife !! It all depends how you use it.... for self-defence or for taking someone’s life !

Alpheus

Alpheus — Fri, 23 May 2008 00:00:00 +0000

@ Anwesha

Fraudulence, kidnaps and other crimes have been associated not just with online friendships. There have been cases where people make friends in college, go out with them and get conned. I have come across ’real-life’ pretentious blokes who cooked up stories about their past. You will have to be careful about any relationship you commit to, regardless of whether it is online or real-life.

Anwesha

Anwesha — Fri, 23 May 2008 00:00:00 +0000

u r right Alpheus. but since in online relationships, u cant see the person, u gotto be extra careful. when u meet a person on a day-to-day basis, or frequently, u can see for yourself how they behave, whether they seem to possess more moolah than is natural, the kind of people they hang around with, things like that. but in online r’ships, your knowledge about the person depends entirely on what he/she allows u to know. yes, even then, in real r’ships, people do get conned. but the possibility increases many times more in online r’ships.

Alpheus

Alpheus — Fri, 23 May 2008 00:00:00 +0000

I will offer you two scenarios Anwesha. Tell me which is more dangerous. Girl A meets Guy A (who has faked his identity) online. She has been careful enough (not extra careful, coz she still continues to talk to him) not to give out her personal details. Guy A doesn’t know how she looks and where she stays, so if Girl A decides to stop chatting one day, he cannot stalk her. Scenario 2:Girl B meets Guy B in a coffee shop and starts chatting. Guy B knows how she looks and can easily stalk her even if she decides to stop talking (evidently since Guy B has also faked his identity). So, is Girl A or Girl B safer?

Alpheus

Alpheus — Fri, 23 May 2008 00:00:00 +0000

The point I’m trying to make, with due respect to your opinion (which is true), is that the risk is subjective.

Anwesha

Anwesha — Fri, 23 May 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Girl A is safer only if she hasnt given out her identity. but when two people form ’close fiendships’ or relationships on the net, they do give out their identities, and sooner or later, their contact numbers and addresses too. These are closely followed by photos of themselves. after all, they are ’in love’ with their net friends, they dont see any reason why they shouldnt trust them with their personal details. right? as long as one chats for harmless fun, lies left and right, keeps one’s identity secret, i dont see any reason why that should be a problem. and i personally know v few ppl who would start chatting with strangers they come across in coffee shops. if they exist, they are, of course, too naive for their own good.

Jayaprashanth

Jayaprashanth — Fri, 23 May 2008 00:00:00 +0000

People who sign up or try their luck in online relationships are either very lonely or desperate for some ”love” or company. The internet provides anonymity and anonymity is the main reason why criminals stalk it. So any-day it is better not to get into any relationship online. And as the title says, internet relationships just ain’t blind, they are very dangerous too.

G

Sun, 25 May 2008 00:00:00 +0000

It was Shakespeare from whom the concept of ”love is blind” originally came. ”Love sees not with the eyes but with the mind and thus is wingèd Cupid painted blind”. I think that comes from Romeo and Juliet.

The point in this (and observe the obvious misapplication of the concept of ”love is blind” more generally in culture) - love sees with the mind. The thoughts, gestures, the physical countenance of a love-interest, their laughter, their sense of humour, their principles, the way their eyes sparkle... it’s all in the mind, the psychological and inner eyes of the beholder. That an internet relationship limits the number of elements in our definition of the mental image we may hold of a person we are attracted to does not make the attraction or the potential for a relationship any less real or significant than in the ”real world”.

Internet relationships are blind in only as much as the field-of-view of the eye is limited by the evidence apparent to our mind. There is still a person on the other end of the line, the keyboard, the monitor. In terms of a ”set theory” of the attributes of a human being, the internet relationship has a limited number of sets to evaluate - and in this the potential for fantasising the relationship grow pari passu the limited amount of information available.

I feel that any relationship (real or virtual) can be dangerous. There are always potential deceptions, illusions, denials and dangers. That the internet relationship is bound so solidly to linguistic and possibly also static or animated visual communication merely emphasises these aspects of interpersonal communication.

You can still meet someone with whom you share many interests and with whom you may just ”click” in reality. One should always be cautious in a relationship and the proliferation of short-lived internet romances is no less a marker of the general state of human confusion and loneliness than is the proliferation of short-lived romances in corpore.

Methinks there is an instablogs article waiting to be written about this...

G

Sun, 25 May 2008 00:00:00 +0000

BTW - it’s all in the mind in a phenomenological sense. Everything is in the mind in as much as we are aware of it.